Merry Christmas!

Every year on Christmas Eve my family gets together to celebrate. After dinner, before we open presents from each other we always have the story of Jesus' birth read from the bible as the kids act it out. This is my favorite part!
Our beautiful flocked tree...This year I had my heart set on a flocked tree, and Sam will tell you once I have my heart set on something there is NO changing it! (something I need to work on) Who knew it would be so much drama! I called about 10 different stores to see if they carried flock, and most of them said, " I don't know- what is flock?" I finally found some online that I could order and my mom had a flocking gun, thank goodness cause to buy the kit with the gun was like 45 bucks extra! Finally we got the flock in the mail after what seemed like forever, and what I thought would be a fun christmas activity to do together turned out to be, as Sam calls it "a flocking nightmare"! After an hour of flocking,we somehow blew up most of the bags of flock, only half of it was on the tree, the other half on the garage floor, and we were out of flock. We had to order more, wait another week for it to come, flock the rest of the tree- this time we figured out what went wrong and the flock went on the tree instead of the garage floor--after all this we could have bought a tree already flocked for probably cheaper then what we spent on the flock, but oh well, we had our beautiful flocked tree and a memory we will never forget- at least Sam won't :)

Chuck made this to help my mom hear. Do you think it will work?
Devan in his beautiful christmas sweater LOL! Becky's family was having an ugly sweater contest, I think he might win!
The swing that Sam made me for our front porch. He surprised me with it! I had no idea he was making it. Who knew I was married to such a talented guy :)
Rockwell in his new christmas beanie- he is so stinkin cute!
Our real tree that we cut down ourselves from Sam's grandpa's property up Fairview canyon. What a fun tradition this will be!
Where do I even start? It has been so long since I've blogged anything, life gets too crazy! Christmas this year was SO good--besides the part that Sam had to work.. I have felt so happy all month, and just filled with the spirit of giving ( of course at every store I was filled with the spirit of one for me, one for them- but oh well :) I really need to focus on keeping this happiness and love in my heart that I have felt all month, with me all year. I have been reflecting on family, friends, and of course the love of my saviour and have felt such overwhelming peace. I am so blessed with so many wonderful things and people in my life. I am SO blessed to have been born into a free country, into a family who loves me and takes care of me and has taught me the gospel of Jesus Christ, to be married to the man of my dreams, to have an overabundance of clothes and food and everything we could ever want or need, etc. etc. etc. Sure, our life is FAR from perfect, and we've had our share of struggles, heartache, and trials, but still we are truly blessed. I am so grateful for this time of year to remind me of that...
for all these wonderful memories, and the birth and life and sacrifice that our Savior has made for all of us so that we can continue to be with our family for all eternity! We love you and hope you had a very merry Christmas!

Thoughts...

These last 15 months have been some of the happiest and hardest of my life! The day I met Sam I knew my life would never be the same, and it hasn't. He has made my life so amazing and he has been such a blessing to me. He is my rock and my strength! Thank you Sam for who you are.

We have had a lot of frustrations and struggles also with our new lives together. We want more than anything in the world to be parents and have had to deal with a lot of heartache in trying to make that happen. 1 year ago I had a miscarriage, and had tried to get pregnant again for the next year without success. This September we did In-Vitro and last week had a positive pregnany result, but this week I am miscarrying again.

It's hard for me to understand why this has to happen to us, when we are trying to be faithful and follow the commandments of bringing children to the earth. Why is it so hard? But I know that we have to have faith and know that Heavenly Father will bless us.

I remember when we found out that my dad had cancer and the survival rate was zero. We still fasted and prayed that we would get a miracle. I remember my dad saying, "I feel like we are doing the right thing in asking for this, and even if our prayers aren't answered in the way we think they should be, it is helping us to have faith and rely on the Lord" After my dad passed away, my mom said she thought we had our miracle in that my dad didn't have to suffer.

My dad would always say that in great trials comes great faith and great blessings. I don't know why this has to happen to us, and it's hard not to be an emotional mess, but I am trying to follow my dad's example and have great faith. We will keep trying and maybe Heavenly Father needs us to give one of his sweet little spirits that is already here on the earth a good home. We are so grateful for the many prayers and love and support from our family and friends! We are so blessed to have so many people in our life who love us so much! And we love you so much! Thank you for helping us through this hard time in our lives

We Made It!

So I decided since I haven't posted anything for a few months it was time! We finally sold our Orem townhouse after soooooooooooooooo much drama. Like my sister-in-law Darci I have lost all faith in the realty business.The day we were moving and supposed to close the buyer backed out! Are you kidding me?!?!?! But we found a new buyer and everything worked out,although we could have gotten $23,000 more just 1 year previous. Oh well, we are finally here and almost settled.. besides our yard.. and we LOVE our new house! It has been so much fun for me to decorate, and redecorate! I'm sure it drives Sam crazy, but he is so good to let me do what I want to the inside of the house. I told him he can have the garage ;) I am posting a few pics of the kitchen, great room, sitting room/office and master bedroom

Our soon to be NEW HOUSE!!!

We've been married almost one year and I can hardly believe it! The whole time we have unfortunately been having to make two house payments, and Sam has sacrificed so much in driving so far to work. Well, things are changing... YAY! Sam sold his house in Moroni, and we should be selling my townhouse in Orem shortly, and we found our dreamhouse! Well, at least the dreamhouse that we can afford :) We decided Santaquin would be a good compromise for both of us, kinda in the middle for both of our jobs and both our family and friends. It is on the east benches of Santaquin right off the Canyon Rd so we have a beautiful view of the mountains and outdoor life for Sam, and also not too far from "the big city" for me. In the pictures there are still a million weeds, and we will have to put in a yard, and the city needs to put in a sidewalk, but it gives you an idea. I will post more pictures after we move in and get it decorated. Hopefully by the middle of July we will be all settled in... YAY :)

Vegas Baby!!!

For Memorial weekend Sam and I decided to go to Vegas. My friend Brittney and her husband Brady and their kids were heading down there and wanted us to come. It was a last minute quick trip, but we had a blast! Exactly 1 year ago on this same weekend we got engaged in Vegas, so it was fun going back to celebrate. I can't believe it has been a year since Sam proposed! Time goes by so fast, but it also just feels like we've known each other and been together forever. I'm so grateful for Sam, the love of my life! I decide to post a picture of when we got engaged (on the gondola ride at the Venetian) since I didn't have a blog then, and also a pic of us on the bigshot at the top of the Stratosphere. That ride was SO scary! But I loved it! Brittney about had a heart attack, but we made her ride it anyway. She was screaming the whole time holding on to her step-son's chair! I was screaming the whole time too :) One of the pics is the view at the top of the stratosphere. It was so pretty, you could see forever.

Great Idea!

The weather is finally starting to get warm and I am SO excited! The weekends lately have all seemed to be cold and I hadn't had a chance to be out enjoying the sun until today. It's not quite warm enough to go swimming yet, but I really wanted to get rid of my sickly looking white winter skin. Sam had the great idea to go get some rafts and lay in the hot tub! It was perfect! We had a such a fun, relaxing time in our backyard today :) I can't wait for boating weather!! YAY!!!

Sam's Dreams Come True!

Ever since Sam sold his 4-wheeler last year he has been wanting a Rhino SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Bad! So I bought him this Rhino for Christmas, thinking finally his dreams would come true ;) I guess it wasn't quite the Rhino he had in mind. It held him over for a while... but only a while :)

Rhino, Rhino, and more Rhino

After many months of looking on KSL every day, several times a day, Sam finally found the Rhino he wanted and we could afford. So this weekend we drove to Preston Idaho to pick up Sam's baby! I can't even expain how excited he was! Just like a little kid at Christmas! Now all we need is the house I want on the hills of Santaquin so he can ride it out of our backyard!

Remembering my hero...

Tomorrow it will be 2 years since my dad passed away. He truly was and is my hero. He taught everyone by his example how to live a great life. Time has gone so fast. It's strange, the day is still so vivid in my mind. I remember every detail..what I was wearing, what I felt like, how he looked (which was so peaceful, like he was sleeping and would soon wake up)and even though it seems like it was yesterday, it also seems like it was forever ago.

I am so lucky to have had the chance to spend 32 years with the most amazing man I've ever known as my father. He was so kind, caring, patient, generous, giving, and full of unconditional love. He was firm when he needed to be, but we all knew inside he was a big teddy bear. I had so much respect for this man as I was growing up(and still do)that I was never afraid of the punishment I would receive if I did something wrong, I was more hurt by the feeling that I had let him down.

My dad was never concerned for himself but always put others first. Our love for each other was more important to him than any suffering that he had to go through. He never complained. Just like his amazing sister who suffered with cancer for 13 or 14 years and never complained once but just kept serving others. We would ask my dad how he was doing, and through his scratchy, weak voice, that he could barely speak with, as he was in pain holding his head would say "I'm doing great".

I am so proud to be the daughter of this amazing man. I miss him with all of my heart and wish I didn't have to live the rest of my life without him, but I know that he is and will always be there for me. I hope that I can make him proud and carry on the amazing legacy that he has left for us to folllow. I love you dad!

Photos of a great man

As you can see from the photos my dad loved life. he loved to be with his family and his grandchildren, and his grandghildren love him soooooooooooo much! He was always so willing to join in on any activity with the family, whether it be fishing, or riding tubes in the lazy river, he loved having fun with his kids and grandkids. Even Sienna (Devan and Becky's dog) loved grandpa! Sienna knew grandpa was the only one that would let her get away with laying on the sofa :) Shad's son Brenan had a special bond with grandpa and had him baptise him in the river. This man was deeply loved by all!

Valentine's Day

This year was me and Sam's first Valentine's day together. I wanted to do something special for Sam cause he had to work all weekend. He always works so hard and does so much for me! I baked him a delicious dinner of halibut and crab cakes. It was soooooo good, not to brag but mmmmmm, my mouth is watering just thinking about it! Then I made a yummy lemon raspberry cake (I've been craving one since our wedding. That was the flavor of the middle layer of our wedding cake that we served, and they were supposed to save us a piece and they forgot, and I still think about it!) Then I sent him on a treasure hunt with cute heart clues to find his Valentines treasure. It was such a good night. Sam wrote me an amazing poem, that of course made me cry, and he's helping me buy an office chair that I am in love with, even though he thinks it's a waste of money and I'm crazy :) Thank you Sam for being so good to me! I love you so much!

Valentine's Day Poem

Sam wrote me the sweetest poem for Valentine's Day! I told him not to buy me flowers, cause he just did a week ago, and I told him not to buy me chocolates cause I'm trying to eat better. This was WAY better than both!!! Thanks Sam! I Love you!

Here is the poem...

Roses are not always red anymore
and violets are usually blue,
To use the word love would be understating
the way I feel about you.
For divine was the power
and inspired was the process,
God found me this perfect person
it is you sweetie I must confess.
If only every man could spend just
one moment in my life,
no wait, I dare not, for they
all would want you for their wife.
So gracious is your person
so giving is your soul,
you better me, complete me,
and forever make me whole.
Without you life is pointless
and simply has no cause,
it’s amazing that you picked me
guess you didn’t see all my flaws.
Forever I have wandered
and for you I have always sought,
I’m so happy that I have you
forever, for always, and no matter what!

late night thoughts...

I couldn't sleep tonight (as is the case for most nights) and since it was too late to call family and friends to chat, I thought I would catch up on their lives through the wonderful world of technology. I have been reading blogs for the past hour or so, and most have been reflecting over the past year. I couldn't help but start to do the same. I read my sis-in-law's Becky's blog and got a little emotional thinking about the blessings that have been showered upon my whole family.

I've been thinking about my dad a lot during this holiday season, which stirs up so many emotions. I miss him so much, but feel so happy thinking of so many wonderful memories. It's funny how life works, and I'm sure my siblings will agree, that although it has been a great hardship having him gone, all of our lives have been so blessed in the time since he passed. (it will be 2 years in Feb)

I had so many anxietys of him being gone. Not being married at the time, the feeling of not having him be there when I someday got married was so overwhelming. My husband would never know him... My kids would never know him... Who would I go to for advice? How would I survive without him? My brother told me that he would probably be able to help me more from above than on earth, and I thought, "Are you crazy? How could he help more not even being here"? But it's true...

I am now married to the man of my dreams, that I know with all my heart was due to divine inspiration. I know my dad had a hand in it. And he WAS there when I got married... And my kids WILL know him...

I am so grateful for such amazing parents! For a mother who is sweet and patient beyond all other, and so willing to sacrifice such much for her children. For a father who was such a great example of the kind of person we all should be. For my brothers and sister and brothers and sisters in-law who would do anything for me. For my neices and nephews who show me so much love and let me love them like they were my own. For the best mother and father in-law that I could ever ask for. But most importantly for my amazing husband. He is such an example to me. He is so worth the LONG wait and all the years of worrying it would never happen. He is my fairytale come true!

My life is truly blessed!