Friday, October 16, 2009

Thoughts...

These last 15 months have been some of the happiest and hardest of my life! The day I met Sam I knew my life would never be the same, and it hasn't. He has made my life so amazing and he has been such a blessing to me. He is my rock and my strength! Thank you Sam for who you are.

We have had a lot of frustrations and struggles also with our new lives together. We want more than anything in the world to be parents and have had to deal with a lot of heartache in trying to make that happen. 1 year ago I had a miscarriage, and had tried to get pregnant again for the next year without success. This September we did In-Vitro and last week had a positive pregnany result, but this week I am miscarrying again.

It's hard for me to understand why this has to happen to us, when we are trying to be faithful and follow the commandments of bringing children to the earth. Why is it so hard? But I know that we have to have faith and know that Heavenly Father will bless us.

I remember when we found out that my dad had cancer and the survival rate was zero. We still fasted and prayed that we would get a miracle. I remember my dad saying, "I feel like we are doing the right thing in asking for this, and even if our prayers aren't answered in the way we think they should be, it is helping us to have faith and rely on the Lord" After my dad passed away, my mom said she thought we had our miracle in that my dad didn't have to suffer.

My dad would always say that in great trials comes great faith and great blessings. I don't know why this has to happen to us, and it's hard not to be an emotional mess, but I am trying to follow my dad's example and have great faith. We will keep trying and maybe Heavenly Father needs us to give one of his sweet little spirits that is already here on the earth a good home. We are so grateful for the many prayers and love and support from our family and friends! We are so blessed to have so many people in our life who love us so much! And we love you so much! Thank you for helping us through this hard time in our lives

5 comments:

Ben and Darci said...

I can only try to imagine how hard it is for you to go through this. It's hard to wonder why, other than to know that our physical bodies are sometimes subject to go through things we would rather they didn't. I hope that you can find some answers, and soon be able to look forward at what might be some amazing prospects. But while you are trying to sort this all out in your hearts and minds, we will keep you in our prayers. Love you guys!!!

House of Ham's said...

Oh sweet stacia! I cannot think of two people more deserving to be parents! I am so sorry to hear of your struggles this past year. The hardest times seem to bring the best ones following right after. We will keep you in our prayers. Continue to have the wonderful faith that you do. I sure do love you. xoxo Coly

STEPHANIE said...

Stacia, I am Sam's cousin and I saw your name and linked from a post on Darci's blog. I hope you don't mind! I just wanted to tell you that I'm SO sorry you are going through this! We also have had a really rough time having children. We have been married for 13 years and have finally been blessed with a boy and a girl that are 2 & 3. We went through many years of fertility tests, drugs, AI, surgeries, miscarriages and lots of tears. It is so hard to stay strong when you feel in your heart that your desires are righteous. I have come to accept that God has a plan and children come when they are suppose to. Feel free to ask me any questions or check out my blog. My email address is wannahavefunx2@hotmail.com

Ashley said...

Hey Stacia,

I'm so sorry to hear that. You two are such amazing people. I know Heavenly Father has big plans for you guys!! We'll keep you guys in our thoughts and prayers.

ciara said...

I'm so glad we work together!!! It is so much fun seeing you each day. I feel like we have grown so much closer, just seeing each other everyday. I'm glad I was there that day when you found out, I would'nt have wanted you to be alone in that moment. Sometimes the hard times bring us all closer together, and then, comes a break in the dark clouds. I'm always always here for you for whatever you need! Love you Stacia!