Thoughts...

These last 15 months have been some of the happiest and hardest of my life! The day I met Sam I knew my life would never be the same, and it hasn't. He has made my life so amazing and he has been such a blessing to me. He is my rock and my strength! Thank you Sam for who you are.

We have had a lot of frustrations and struggles also with our new lives together. We want more than anything in the world to be parents and have had to deal with a lot of heartache in trying to make that happen. 1 year ago I had a miscarriage, and had tried to get pregnant again for the next year without success. This September we did In-Vitro and last week had a positive pregnany result, but this week I am miscarrying again.

It's hard for me to understand why this has to happen to us, when we are trying to be faithful and follow the commandments of bringing children to the earth. Why is it so hard? But I know that we have to have faith and know that Heavenly Father will bless us.

I remember when we found out that my dad had cancer and the survival rate was zero. We still fasted and prayed that we would get a miracle. I remember my dad saying, "I feel like we are doing the right thing in asking for this, and even if our prayers aren't answered in the way we think they should be, it is helping us to have faith and rely on the Lord" After my dad passed away, my mom said she thought we had our miracle in that my dad didn't have to suffer.

My dad would always say that in great trials comes great faith and great blessings. I don't know why this has to happen to us, and it's hard not to be an emotional mess, but I am trying to follow my dad's example and have great faith. We will keep trying and maybe Heavenly Father needs us to give one of his sweet little spirits that is already here on the earth a good home. We are so grateful for the many prayers and love and support from our family and friends! We are so blessed to have so many people in our life who love us so much! And we love you so much! Thank you for helping us through this hard time in our lives